Monday, February 9, 2015

The Search Begins

I don’t know where to start tonight or how much I really want to divulge at this time.  I guess I will just see where this leads.

I am about to start a new journey and I’m terrified and excited and anxious and and and…
I’ve really taken to heart lately all this live each day to the fullest, tell family and friends how you feel and to make time for those that are important.  That is what is setting off this journey for me. 

Time is of the essence and we only have one life.  We should be required to make it the best and live each day achieving whatever the hell we want to.  If staying in bed all day watching movies or running a marathon or whatever is what we truly want to do then we should do it!  It is not a waste of time if we enjoy it.  No matter what anyone else thinks.  It is our life and we must live it however we want.
Ok here it goes.  I have started searching for a person that has been missing in my life.  This person does not know I exist.  That sounds funny but it is true.  No, that does not make me a stalker but a person that has been missing a part of herself for her entire life.   I am not ready to share more details than that but feel you deserve at least a hint of what I’m up to.

One of my biggest issues is going to be patience.  I am not a very patient person.  I want things to happen immediately and that’s just not always possible.   This could be a very long journey and I need to prepare myself for that.  I also need to watch my expectations.  Despite the 500,001 ways I’ve already dreamt up, I do not know how this will end.  I am not in control and I need to embrace that.  Have I mentioned that I am also a bit of a control freak?!   This is going to be another hold on to your seat and lean into the curves kinda ride. 
I intend to share my journey here and I hope to receive encouragement along the way.  I am going to need it as this will be emotional and scary.  I am not good at vulnerable but that is exactly what I am making myself.  I intend to share everything that isn’t overly personal.  Plus, I want to have a record of the journey so when I do find the person I can show them the path I took. 

Thank you.
 Until tomorrow

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