For the first time, in as long as I can remember, I went
after something I really wanted and could fail.
It was scary for me to put myself out there. I applied for a job that I wanted so bad I
could taste it. I thought I would be a
great fit minus a couple of the criteria.
I checked with the organization and those items were not deal breakers. I created a resume, something I had not needed
since 2006. I made it to the interview
stage and fought through my nerves and left feeling it went well. There was only one question that I really
felt I bombed. It was a big one but
figured I did well enough in other areas that it would be ok. I fought off my self-doubt. You know that little voice in the back of
your mind that is uber critical? I shut
it down. I stayed optimistic but also
realistic. My friends and family were amazing. They told me how I was perfect for it and
that it was mine. I appreciated the encouragement and was proud of putting
myself out there. Guess what happened… I failed.
Someone else got the job. The
first time I have put myself out there in years and I failed. I was disappointed but accepting. Due to my relationship with the organization
they explained why they went with another person. It makes perfect sense and I feel they made
the correct decision. After all, the
organization, the work they do and the clients are the most important. Instead
of falling into my old habit of beating myself up, I remained positive. I really was happy for the chosen
person. I think she will do a great job. I was not even embarrassed when I had to tell
everyone that I was not the person picked.
I had told many people about it too.
I wanted to spread the word that I was going after something. I did not want to hide behind the concern
that I might fail. That I might be
embarrassed. I wanted to put everything
out there. That
was another change I needed to make. In
order for me to feel fully invested I could not hide. I had to completely embrace the entire experience and share it.
Know that saying that everything happens for a reason? Or one door closes so another can open? Or things work out how they should? Well, they did in this case. Another position came available. I applied and I was hired! I am so excited. This position is going to push me, make me
better and allow me to make a difference in my community. There are aspects that will come naturally
and pieces that will stretch my comfort zone.
That little voice is there giving me some doubts but I know I’ve got
this. It will come with challenges but it will be worth it and extremely rewarding. I am blessed to be able to move into a field
where I am passionate and get paid for it!
It won’t be all rainbows and jelly beans but is going to be
amazing. I can't wait to share this new journey with you.
I’ve been saying 2016 is going to be a year of change for
me. It is definitely shaping up to be
that way – change and growth. It is
going to be a great one!
Hello 2016 and kiss my ass 2015.
Until next time
P.S. My son has taken to calling me Birth Giver. I have no words for this new title. smh lol
