The Inquisition

Hello blog world!  How are you today?  I’m pooped.  I had a long day at work trying to get through a very tedious project but mixed it up with posting about some of my favorite pages on FB.  That helped to break it up a little.  2-3 minute breaks here and there work wonders. 

I’m missing the gym again today as I continue to fight off this little bug that is working it’s damndest to bring me down.  It’s not going to happen.  For once I’m listening to my body and resting instead of pushing through.  The gym will still be there tomorrow. 

I decided to come home and take a nap.  That nap turned into grabbing a nice warm cup of tea and running a hot bubble bath.  It was exactly what the doctor ordered.  Me being the doctor. I feel refreshed and ready to write now.  

As I laid there thinking about what to write I decided to just let my fingers do the talking.  My brain is tired but my fingers are becoming addicted to this.  It’s only day 3 and already they get antsy thinking about when they’re going to get their chance to make magic. 

I’ve been having some really awkward conversations with my son.  He’s getting to the age where he is asking a lot of questions again but I can’t give him simple answers.  He wants to know more and he’s smart enough to know when he’s not getting the full story. 

I’ve always been completely honest with him.  I’ve read books about puberty, forced myself through the most embarrassing parts and was careful to not make them a big deal.  It’s very important to me that he knows I am always here for him and that he can talk about literally anything with me.  I don’t want him trying to navigate on his own.  I completely believe that you have to start this open communication early or you’ll never be able to fully achieve it. 

There are very few times in my life that I’ve been completely speechless and almost every one of them have been when my son surprised me with questions or statements that I was unprepared for in the moment.  The last two nights have been a couple of examples. 

The first one was on Super Bowl Sunday and Fiat has a commercial with a blue pill that an older man drops, it makes its way through a maze of obstacles and end up falling into the gas tank of a small fiat which then transforms into an SUV.  Here’s a recap of the conversation that followed

Son: “I don’t get it.  What’s the blue pill?”
Husband: “It makes you stronger”
Me: laughing
Son: looking at me “What’s it really mean?”
Me: “Dad is accurate”
Son” looking at his Dad “Why won’t Mommy stop laughing?”
Husband: makes hand motion that I’m crazy.
Me: STILL can’t stop laughing
Son: gets on iPad probably googling it.

I think I handled that well. 

Next night (last night) I am writing my blog and my son is watching Untold Stories of the ER. Turns out a guy comes in with a vibrator stuck up his ass.  That’s a direct quote.  I instantly think the universe hates me and is punishing me for something.  Here’s that conversation

Son: “What’s that?”
Me: ((crickets)) I stare at him like I can’t hear
Son: “You’re not going to tell me are you?”
Me: “umm… an adult toy”
Son: looks at me blankly (probably a lot like I’d just looked at him)
Me: “Does that make sense?”
Son: “not really…”
Me: “Sometimes grown-ups use them for sex stuff”
Son: “ahh that makes more sense because guns are adult toys”

Now I feel I need to clarify that last comment.  We are a gun friendly home, my husband is a firearms instructor and my son knows guns are not toys.  However, we do sometimes refer to them as big boy toys much like you’d refer to a boat or the like as a big boy toy.

I have no idea what point I am trying to make with sharing these conversations except to say in parenting you need to be prepared for the unexpected.  You need to have open lines of communication and sometimes you’ve just gotta laugh. 

Hope you all have a wonderful night.  I’ll see you tomorrow.