15 years ago yesterday (yes, I'm a day late and a dollar short) I moved to this state of California. I remember that day like it was...well...yesterday. I was young, scared, and heartbroken. I packed everything I could in two suitcases, had a $100 cash, got dropped off at the airport and headed into the unknown. I'm pretty sure it was a memorable day for the guy that sat next to me on the plane. I doubt he'll ever forget the crazy young woman who cried for over an hour, stared out the window and refused to speak. Hey dude, if you're reading this...I'm doing great now!
April 15 has become a day I celebrate and mourn each year. I take some time to reflect and think about a lot of what if's. This year however, I celebrated it by having a very special photo shoot. I didn't exactly plan it this way but it worked out perfectly. I've always been a bit of a control freak and a reserved person (unless there's vodka). I've also relied heavily on what others think. So stepping out of my comfort zone, letting my sexy shine, embracing me and giving up control was no easy task. I like to think I did well at it and if the pictures prove anything - I did. I've had body image issues all my life but to look at these pictures, all I can say is DAMN! Is this really me?
The photographer is amazing and I am thrilled to be photographed by her. I intend to continue modeling with her. I may be the one paying but it's worth every reasonable penny. I've never felt so beautiful, sexy, powerful or accepted - to mention only a few key words. Life is grand and beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Love yourself and embrace all that life hands you. It's all part of what gets you to where you are going.
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Friendship is such an important part of life. It restores your soul. Nothing compares to a true friendship - whether it's with your life partner or someone else. Everyone needs that person they can confide in, laugh with and hold on to when all seems lost. That person that leads you back from the dark - the light at the end of the tunnel so to speak. At least one person that drops everything and picks you up when you fall. Hopefully laughing on the way back up.
There are different types of friendship. I've been all types to many and experienced my fair share from each group. You learn what to expect from people and to count on those strengths and weaknesses.
The good-timers. These are the ones that are only there when things are good. Who needs these? We all do. They are fun and they make us laugh. Everyone needs a good time friend - like everyone needs a good time girl.
The Suckers. These are the users. The ones that suck the life out of you if you let them. Avoid them. Even if it means running away screaming with your hands over your ears. You can only handle so much negative in your life. My guess is you have enough of your own, you don't need theirs.
The Fakes. The ones that are one way to your face and then can't wait to share/talkabout/destroy you to the next person. Avoid them? Maybe. I choose not to. I know who they are, what they offer and frankly, I don't care what they think/say anymore. They can be amusing - like toys. Challenge yourself to see just how much you can get them talking about you.
The Reals. These are the ones that are 100% invested. They know you, they love you and there is no pretense. No explanation or correction needed for statements because they automatically know what you mean. The ones that show up on your doorstep with alcohol, food or the new must-see movie. They don't see the dirty dishes in the sink, the mascara running down your face or the laugh lines around your eyes. They see directly to your soul and refill it without effort.
There are different types of friendship. I've been all types to many and experienced my fair share from each group. You learn what to expect from people and to count on those strengths and weaknesses.
The good-timers. These are the ones that are only there when things are good. Who needs these? We all do. They are fun and they make us laugh. Everyone needs a good time friend - like everyone needs a good time girl.
The Suckers. These are the users. The ones that suck the life out of you if you let them. Avoid them. Even if it means running away screaming with your hands over your ears. You can only handle so much negative in your life. My guess is you have enough of your own, you don't need theirs.
The Fakes. The ones that are one way to your face and then can't wait to share/talkabout/destroy you to the next person. Avoid them? Maybe. I choose not to. I know who they are, what they offer and frankly, I don't care what they think/say anymore. They can be amusing - like toys. Challenge yourself to see just how much you can get them talking about you.
The Reals. These are the ones that are 100% invested. They know you, they love you and there is no pretense. No explanation or correction needed for statements because they automatically know what you mean. The ones that show up on your doorstep with alcohol, food or the new must-see movie. They don't see the dirty dishes in the sink, the mascara running down your face or the laugh lines around your eyes. They see directly to your soul and refill it without effort.
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Here I am!
I finally found my way back. It's been over 2 years that I've been off finding myself. Lucky you - you've also found me. We must celebrate! I suggest a large drink made mostly of tequila or vodka, a little ice and a mixer if you must. It's guaranteed to make you feel better and make my blog more entertaining (as if that's needed). Bottoms Up!
I recently had a conversation with a friend laughing about posts on social networking sites. Does anyone really care what we have to say? I mean, does it matter that we just fed our kids dinner, went to the movies, took out the trash or any other number of mundane items we complete each day. No, no it doesn't. I'd much rather blog it anyway. Here, I can write as much as I want with out getting those silly red numbers.
I'm excited, nervous, anxious and thrilled to face this fear of making myself vulnerable by blogging. Part of me wonders why the heck someone would want to read what I have to say. The other half says who cares? It's for me, not them. So here I will tear down a wall. I've been making ceilings floors for two years and I'm looking forward to this new challenge. Gulping some liquid courage is just a bonus. Here's to you and me.
I recently had a conversation with a friend laughing about posts on social networking sites. Does anyone really care what we have to say? I mean, does it matter that we just fed our kids dinner, went to the movies, took out the trash or any other number of mundane items we complete each day. No, no it doesn't. I'd much rather blog it anyway. Here, I can write as much as I want with out getting those silly red numbers.
I'm excited, nervous, anxious and thrilled to face this fear of making myself vulnerable by blogging. Part of me wonders why the heck someone would want to read what I have to say. The other half says who cares? It's for me, not them. So here I will tear down a wall. I've been making ceilings floors for two years and I'm looking forward to this new challenge. Gulping some liquid courage is just a bonus. Here's to you and me.
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