So here I sit once again stifling myself. I’ve been trying to determine why and I’ve
spent a lot of time reflecting. So far
I’ve come up with a lot of excuses.
Sure, they are legit excuses but they are still excuses. This seems to be how my brain works. I struggle through trying to figure things
out and then one day the fog clears and I just know. Often running or writing is what helps me
though the fog. As I’ve shared I haven’t
been doing much of either. Where do you
turn when the things you’ve depended on are no longer there? I recently tried a writing technique where I
took some time and wrote whatever popped in my head. I was told to even write blah bah blah if
that was all I had. I tried it. I wrote a lot. There were no blahs included. Maybe someday I’ll share that
randomness.
My question of all you bloggers out there is how do you do
it? How do you provide information and
entertainment to us consistently? Most
blogs I follow are well put together. I
don’t read of struggles with writing.
Are you not sharing that part of your life or is it not an issue for you?
I've been told that some prewrite when they can so they have back-ups. Is this common?
All my life I have enjoyed writing. I used to write short stories as a child and
poetry as a pre-teen and teen. It was a
great outlet for me but I was motivated by emotion. It seems I’ve taught myself to rely on strong
emotions to move my pen across the paper or my fingers across the keys. I’m not sure how to break that cycle.
As I’ve sat here writing I’m realizing (told you writing
helps) that part of my issue is believing in myself and creating this for me. I need it to not matter if it makes a
difference in someone’s life. It doesn’t
matter if they gain something from it.
The problem with that is that I want it to help someone. I want people to connect with my story. I want them to know they are not alone. Yet, I need to figure out how to let it just
be for me with the rest as a bonus if it happens. For a long time I wrote and didn’t share my
blog with anyone. I always hoped that
when I did open it up that it would touch people. I think part of my fear was that it
wouldn’t. I worried that people would be
critical, not relate or worse find me ridiculous or unworthy. I often question what do I have to share with
the world that isn’t already out there?
Why do I think I’m so important that others will too? What sets me apart? What I need to really believe is that it’s
important to me and that’s what matters.
I’ve also realized I need to let go of the concern that I
will hurt or offend someone by sharing my story. This is my life. This is my story. I’m not responsible for the role you choose
to play in it. I may share interactions
I have, conversations, joys and hurts.
If you find yourself in the pages of my blog then I hope you realize
that you have affected my life. I will
not apologize for what I write. Consider
yourself warned. I will change names to protect the (not so) innocent if needed.
Now that I’ve got all of that out of the way, I hope my creative juices will start to flow and I can get back to what I love – grammar issues and all.
Sounds to me like you have a pretty good groove of writing. Maybe just make the time for it, relax, and maybe put on some of your favorite tunes. Don't pressure yourself into writing. Try writing, if that doesn't work, go for a run :) hehe I loved your blog and I can totally relate to a lot of what you said. I kept diaries when I was younger. Some I have. Some I lost in 2011. I never considered myself a writer, but now I feel like I have so much to say and I need to out it into words. Either for myself for later or for whom ever wants to read it. You have a story to share with us Amber and I look forward to hearing (reading) about it!
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