What Really Matters

When I was a child, I used to love to lay out a blanket, get all my favorite items and pretend it was my own apartment. I would take over a section of the living room, pretend my dolls were my kids and play for hours. I couldn’t wait for the day I would grow-up and have my own apartment, family and be able to make my own rules.

Fast forward several years. I’m now a grown-up, at least that’s what they tell me. I’ve learned being a grown-up isn’t always what you want it to be. This weekend I was supposed to be running at Disneyland. It would have been my third year doing the TinkerBell Half Marathon and the anniversary of my first half marathon. Sadly, I had to cancel. Cancelling cost me legacy (doing the same race since the inaugural for 5 years in a row). Cancelling wasn’t what I wanted to do but it was the right decision. After moping around for awhile and fighting the depression (more to that story later) I felt creeping in, I decided a weekend of hibernation was what I needed. Now hibernating isn’t easy when you have a child and a life that is usually running nonstop. The good thing – I already had 4 days off and was supposed to be out of town. Who would miss me?

It started off a little rocky when my munchkin decided he wanted to go to work on Friday. See, we recently opened a store and he loves working in it whenever he has a chance. So, he went to work with his dad. Sadly, this meant I had no excuse to stay home. Still fighting the black cloud of depression, I went to work and used it as a distraction.

During the day I thought about the best way to lick my wounds. Throughout the week I had been thinking of when I used to lay out the blanket and pretend to be a grown-up. All I wanted to do now was pretend to be a kid. What better way than to go back to that time. I decided that on Saturday I would lay out blankets (a few as I’m older and need more comfort than I did). I also added a bunch of pillows and eventually a futon mattress. Our dogs were happy to have extra snuggle time and it was great to have the closeness of each other. We slept, talked, snacked, watched movies, knitted, read and just enjoyed each other. It wasn’t the weekend I had planned but what I gained was something more magical. I will cherish the memory of these 3 days. I introduced my son to something I loved as a child and spent time just enjoying my family. Yes, I will be sad when I don’t get legacy. Yes, we would’ve had a wonderful time at Disneyland. Yes, I’m still bummed I didn’t run my 11th half marathon. Yes, I would love to have another medal hanging on my wall. BUT none of that is as important as the bonding time I had with my son. I will never regret this time.