The first thing was I was able to play a victim for a forensic photography class. I have always wanted to do this and jumped at the chance. The opportunity came from my volunteer work with the local rape crisis center. The forensic photography class was for the medical examiners to help them learn how to take better photographs of the physical evidence. The make-up work that was done was amazing. I really looked like I had been through hell. I had a bite mark with a hickey on my neck, a huge bruise on my face, a bruise on my arm, scratches on my leg and a stab wound.
It was a learning experience for me to. I learned many things that will help me to be a better advocate. I was also able to give feedback to the examiners on what made me more comfortable and the entire experience easier on me. It may seem funny that I was uncomfortable but I was. Having people taking my picture brought out my vanity and insecurities.
After I finished there I was able to leave in full make-up. I thought that would be fun. I was looking forward to seeing people’s reactions and then explaining what I had been up to. My first stop was to work out. That experience was exactly as I expected and I had fun messing with my workout partners. The second stop was different and another learning experience. I needed to attend a meeting and I arrived late. Being late caused me to be unable to explain my injuries and led to a lot of stares and whispers as friends and acquaintances tried to determine what had happened. It didn’t take more than a couple of seconds of walking into that room for me to realize I was uncomfortable. I did not want to walk in front of everyone to sign in. I didn’t like that I had to sit with the beat up side of my face toward the entire room. I didn’t like everyone staring and continuing to try to ask questions. I noticed I was hesitant to participate as I did not want any extra attention. I also found myself trying to move my hair to cover my bite mark because that would’ve been the most obvious sign that these weren’t just injuries but that someone had done them to me.
What this made me ask myself is “what do survivors do?” I was lucky enough to be able to go home and wash all my injuries away. They are not. They have to live with them and face the world every day. Do they hide? Do they try to cover them? How do they handle the stares, questions and whispers? It’s just another way of them being victimized and forced to relive the assault. Luckily, most of them (at least the cases I’ve handled) did not have external marks or injuries. Not that they are lucky but at least they do not have strangers staring at them, whispering and wondering.
I submitted all my thoughts, in much more detail, to one medical examiner and to the crisis center. I hope that my insights will make a difference and we will be able to better help women, men and children through an extremely difficult time. I feel blessed for having this learning opportunity.
Today, I participated in a search for a missing person. A woman went missing a little over a week ago and a search party was formed today. It was an interesting experience and much less exciting then they show on TV. There were over 160 of us and we split into several teams and spread out to look for her. We were briefed on how to look, what we were looking for and to be sure to look up in trees too. Thankfully they did find her but sadly it was her body. They do not believe there was foul play involved. The positive thing is that the family and friends will now be able to find closure. I wish all people that have lost someone tragically could find that. I wish them well and hope they are able to move forward. I’m sure it will be a rough road, especially for her children. I hope the family and friends pull together instead of pointing fingers and that they are able to achieve peace.
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