Middle School

Do you remember what it was like to be in middle school?  No?  If you’re like me then it has been a really long time.  Over the last few months I have been trying to delve into that part of my brain and remember as much as possible. 

It is like a switch went off in my son.  He’s still that loving, hilarious, smart, amazing boy that he was a few months ago but he is also changing.  They are normal changes and he is going through many both physically and mentally.  He is growing into himself, developing his identity and moving into the next part of his journey.  It is amazing and difficult to watch. 

I want to be able to cuddle him and protect him from the world.  I know I have to let him grow and change.  I have to let him grow-up.  I’m just not ready yet.  Every time I am ‘allowed’ to hug him, I hold on as long as possible.  I know we are heading into those years where that isn’t cool.  I just hope they are short lived and he realizes EVERYONE needs hugs from their mom.

He is having new experiences and making friends I’ve never met.  He is dealing with things that I haven’t faced since watching after school specials and some that didn’t even exist back then.  I can only hope that he has taken to heart all those times I’ve told him I am always here.  That he can come to me with anything and we can talk about it.  That even if I am disappointed in behaviors, I will always love him and there isn’t anything he can do that will ever change that. 

We have a night time routine, the same one we’ve had since I got him out of my bed and into his.  Right now, he still embraces it and every day I look forward to it.  I try to never skip a night.  On the rare occasion that I am not home until after he goes to bed, I creep into his room and still go through the actions.  He may never know but I do and I hold every one of the nights tight and treasure them.

Until Next Time

P.S.  I got the results of the mammogram and I am all clear!